Monday, May 16, 2011

Police report

This is why I love Montana. I picked out a few entries from the local police report. The names and places have been removed to protect the innocent..

Apparently, but not surprisingly, there was a creepy short man with missing teeth at a bar.

A resident reported that the neighbor’s rabbits are out of control “again.”

A woman on reported that a man is holding her lawn mower hostage because her niece owes him money.

A 19-year-old male admitted to driving like an “idiot” after a fellow driver tattled on him.

A cow, a red Angus to be exact, was standing in the middle of the Road. Deputies were unable to find the cow.

Two big Burmese Mountain dogs, according to a resident, are always standing around in traffic.

A man reported that he left his camera on the top of one of his vehicles and now it's gone.

A mom reported that her neighbor was filming her kids. He claimed he wanted to record them doing annoying things.

A woman complained of a local stray cat that has attacked her cats twice in the last year.

Someone said they saw a mustached man who smelled like pot riding a bicycle that was too small for him.

Someone reported hearing screaming and yelling. The disturbance turned out to be a man talking loudly on his cell phone.

A man in possession of a pot pipe explained that he did not have a medical marijuana card yet but was anticipating getting one soon.

A pack of feral teenage boys were excessively rude to the mother of one of their friends.

A 14-year-old in a purple halter top yelled and cussed at her mom.

People on Main Street were mooned by a man in a white truck.

A man reported that his wife’s intrusive mother was at his home, refusing to leave and threatening to take his T.V.

A scruffy-haired, toothless drunk was spotted driving his Buick through town.

(Hey, I wonder if that was the same toothless drunk who was seen at the bar!?. If they catch him they'll have to rush him off to the barber and dentist for treatment..)


Jules said...

Those are some of the funniest things I've ever read!! It's really hard to believe they all came from real police reports! LMAO!!

Thanks for the giggles!

don said...

What if the 19 year old who admitted to driving like an "idiot" actually was an idiot? Is there a law against that?

And I can just hear the deputies trying to find the cow,.. "There's a cow standing in the road Jim." "That's not the right one Bill,..that's a Hereford, we're looking for an Angus.."

Jules said...

This morning I almost texted:

A man on 30th Ave is wearing an ugly hat and riding a hot pink bicycle.

I thought it fit the topic when I saw it, plus.. seriously a man on a hot pink bike in an ugly hat? That IS a crime!

don said...

He's outside of the bubble, but it's not a crime, unless a helmet is required.

Quiet Paths said...

OMG this is too good. I bet I know which paper this came from... This post needs to be on Fark. I'm submitting it...

don said...

Yep right there in your back yard. I just picked out the best ones from a few days.

One time I was listening to my police scanner while at Flathead, and someone reported that "children were playing on the playground equipment!" Of all things..