Today I pulled up to a stop light in a company van and one of my old girlfriends and her husband were in the next lane. Her husband, the guy she left me for. It was several years ago. I don't think they knew it was me next to them as I could just see the side of her face. It gave me cause to think as I looked at her nose and mouth. What if I had married her? She did want to marry me, but I guess I waited too long to ask her.
I can honestly say that I have never cheated on a girlfriend,,, with the possible exception of when I was 16, but I'm not sure that counts. But this gal did start a relationship with her now husband before she broke up with me. I only heard about it from a friend. I hope she wasn't scared of me. I'd hate to think that. Perhaps she just didn't want to hurt my feelings? Perhaps she didn't have enough courage to tell me. Perhaps she couldn't find the words. I don't know.
But I looked down at her today in their little car from the heights of the van. She sat there in silence only a few feet away. It reminded me of so many times when she sat in my car a few feet away and not really saying anything. She was kind of a quiet person. Now she lives outside of town on a couple of acres in a double wide mobile home. They have a couple of kids. Not sure where the kids were today.
She had a cute little mouth. She always reminded me of Elizabeth Montgomery on Bewitched. When I was a kid I wanted to be like Darrin Stevens and work for an advertising agency, and come up with silly layouts. I'd marry a pretty woman like Samantha and we would move into a nice house in the suburbs where I'd carry her over the threshold. We'd have a charming little daughter and live happily ever after.
Several months after she left me, I bought my house in the suburbs. Her mother had always been really nice to me, and they both wanted to come and see my house. They showed up when I was hanging some blinds in the kitchen window. I could see that my girlfriend was fighting back tears as they walked around looking over my new house.
The light turned green and we parted ways again. But for a moment our paths came together and we were pointed in the same direction.
I wonder if she knew I was there.
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6 comments:
Wow. My guess is she probably didn't see you. (People are largely unobservant - I once saw an old boyfriend in an uncrowded movie theater lobby and he didn't even see me or my parents) If she did she would have tried to either ignore you or get your attention.
I can honestly say that I have never cheated on a boyfriend, with the possible exception of the weird relationship that wasn't. I don't think she was scared of you. My guess is that ending relationships is always difficult and it was a combination of not dealing with the emotional pain (on both sides) of that and not knowing how to break it off with minimal stress.
I don't know what the double-wide looks like, but a couple of acres is more than a lot of people have. Where I'm at now people are lucky to eventually own their own home (most homes in this area are upwards of $600,000).
We all have interesting little fantasies about adulthood when we're kids, don't we?
Did she look happy?
It was always kind of hard to tell when she was happy. I think she is, and I'm happy for her. Her husband is a nice guy, and they have a nice place actually.
Hey, I almost did achive my fantasy. I got a job as a designer and sometimes have to come up with silly slogans. I bought my house in the suburbs. Just no Samantha. 2 out of 3 :)
Hey, I can tell you take life well: You're optimistic about what you have, achieve your goals, and have a cool bike! But I still understand the nostalgic "what if" feelings when seeing someone you once loved, and possibly still love in some ways. It's a painful feeling in your gut. I'm afraid of having that again at my triathlon in June in Edmonton. My ex-boyfriend-almost-fiance is going to be there to help and support me. If I saw him with another woman it would hurt, though I don't want him in that way any more.
I don't know you at all really, and have NO idea how you found my exhibitionist, dark side of Georgia blog, but from what I've read about you, you seem like a very sweet, athletic, successful, good-looking, caring person. I think you'll find your Samantha Stevens and be just as happy.
Thanks Georgia.
I've read this before, and didn't feel the need to comment, but for some reason, today I do. This post almost made me cry. How anyone could be next to you and not know is almost sinful! How anyone who had you as theirs and could let you go is definitely sinful.
You're kind.
Samantha is a nice person too. I don't fault her at all. I'm glad she's happy. At least I hope she is.
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