The most beautiful woman

I saw the most beautiful woman in the vegetable section of the grocery store today. She had the kind of beauty that she didn't even need to try at. Wars could have been fought over her. Perhaps she's so beautiful because she eats only vegetables,. I thought... What would I say to her?, I wondered as I tried to steal a gaze and still act as though I was only interested in my shopping. I had an imaginary conversation,..

"I see you like vegetables,.." "I like vegetables too but I really don't know that much about them,..." "What,.a,. vegetables would you recommend?.."

I can see that I'm getting nowhere with her in my imaginary conversation, so I try something different. "I write about vegetables,.." I say with confidence,.. "Yes,.. I've recently written about rhubarb,.." "I grow my own,.." I continue, "Some people buy rhubarb but I grow it." I say trying to look modest about it,.. "I'm quite good at it actually,.." "Perhaps you'd like to come to my place and check out my rhubarb,.."

That's not working so I start wishing that a small accident would happen to her so I could come to the rescue. Like the pile of bananas would fall over and she'd slip and fall on a banana peel and bump her head. She'd wake up looking into my eyes and forget that I wasn't her boyfriend. "Who are you?" she'd ask. "I'm your boyfriend Brad, remember?,.. Brad Pitt,.. but everyone calls me don,.."

I snap out of my daydream, look around and she's gone. Doesn't like rhubarb I guess.