Friday, October 07, 2011

The holiday season

I've been thinking about not looking forward to the holiday season again. I've written about it before. The party at work, the insanity at all of the stores. If I hear that consumers aren't spending enough one more time I think I'll barf.

I'm always happy when the whole mess is over. Here's what I wrote about going to church and I talked about church hymns being some sort of honesty test. Like if you're not singing with enough conviction, a trap door might open and you'd fall straight into hell. Well I guess church tends to bring out the guilt in me...

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I had to fake my way through a few church hymns. I'm a pretty good faker. I have a pretty small singing range. Three or four notes.. They had the words to the music printed in the hand out they give you to let you know what's going on. But you could also look the hymns up in the hymnal if you wanted to read the music. One of the hymns was really complicated. I was looking at the score in the hymnal thinking, how do people fake something this complicated? So then I faked it with a thoughtful confused look on my face because the choir is up there looking straight back at all of the people in the congregation and probably trying to decide who is faking it. That's what I'd do if I were in the choir... Then I got to thinking how church hymns might just be some sort of honesty test...

There were the usual people at church. The young and the old. A pastor with a peaceful smile. I'm sure he knows who's faking it... A little girl with a battery powered candle who stood a the pew in front of us and then just dropped onto her bottom in a seated position with the weight of a bird. It gave me cause to think,.. If I stood on the pew and just and just dropped onto my butt I'd probably throw my back out...

But there was one older lady who really stood out. She had a red sweater on with a red flashing Christmas light necklace. I had to admire her courage for wearing that. This was after all a candle light service and they were going to turn the lights off at some point... Then I thought what if I wore a necklace like that?... What would people think? What if we all did? What if 17% of the population wore flashing light necklaces?..

As usual it was hard for me to keep my mind on the service, but I'm sort of glad I went.

2 comments:

Jules said...

You know I have to buy you a flashing necklace for Christmas now, don't you?

Funny thoughts Thor. I fake my way through the hymns too. Even the really complicated ones. I hate it when they go really high. I was a soprano in school choir but I just can't go that high anymore. Luckily there's always that one lady and those few men that sing louder than anyone else, and really all you have to do is barely audibly read the words so that your lips move the right way and no one will be able to tell. I think that even if you don't know the hymns, the whole fact that you're standing in a church participating in the service is your redemption.

don said...

I'd be a flashing red devil in church.