Christmas thoughts

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or happy holidays to everyone who might be reading. What a difference a year makes. A year ago I was here, well not exactly here, but my mom was just through a first cancer treatment operation. I spent my days coming and going from the hospital. How different things were back then. It seems like it was only yesterday.

Tonight Christmas celebrations are over, I've watched all of the Christmas TV programs I can manage, and I decided to go and find a hotspot. I ended up coming to the hospital cafeteria. How calm everything seems. It's as if there really is peace on earth tonight. And how different things are for me and my family than they were last year. I realize that it's all kind of an illusion. I know that for some things aren't as good as they are for me. I know that there are sick people who suffer right here tonight.

Last night I took my mom to here church, her cancer a year in the past. I don't know what it is but I always think they are talking about me when they welcome the people who might be visiting, as if we've been lost at sea for years or something. (Oh what the heck,..) What land have I come to this time, Rough savages are they,. or kind friends willing to help out a stranger? I always think of this line when I drop in on someone's gig...

I had to fake my way through a few church hymns. I'm a pretty good faker. I have a pretty small singing range. Three or four notes.. They had the words to the music printed in the hand out they give you to let you know what's going on. But you could also look the hymns up in the hymnal if you wanted to read the music. One of the hymns was really complicated. I was looking at the score in the hymnal thinking, how do people fake something this complicated? So then I faked it with a thoughtful confused look on my face because the choir is up there looking straight back at all of the people in the congregation and probably trying to decide who is faking it. That's what I'd do if I were in the choir... Then I got to thinking how church hymns might just be some sort of honesty test...

There were the usual people at church. The young and the old. A pastor with a peaceful smile. I'm sure he knows who's faking it... A little girl with a battery powered candle who stood a the pew in front of us and then just dropped onto her bottom in a seated position with the weight of a bird. It gave me cause to think,.. If I stood on the pew and just and just dropped onto my butt I'd probably throw my back out...

But there was one older lady who really stood out. She had a red sweater on with a red flashing Christmas light necklace. I had to admire her courage for wearing that. This was after all a candle light service and they were going to turn the lights off at some point... Then I thought what if I wore a necklace like that?... What would people think? What if we all did? What if 17% of the population wore flashing light necklaces?..

As usual it was hard for me to keep my mind on the service, but I'm sort of glad I went.