I've had a few things kind of heavy on my heart.
My mom is getting up there in years and lives in Montana and I live here in Washington. It's not that far away but it's not all that close either. She had me somewhat late in life as she and my dad had other marriages before the one they had with me. My dad was older than my mom and he was in his 40s when he had me. My dad already died as he got cancer. My mom sings in the church choir and when she was singing Sunday morning she got faint, so she sat down. Well they called 911 and hauled her off to the hospital. They did all kinds of tests and found nothing wrong with her. It was her blood pressure medication and her blood pressure got low. It happened when she went on a trip to Russia once also and the Russian doctor took away her pills then. Anyway nobody called me to let me know this was going on, and I only found out when I called her Sunday night. One of her friends is a doctor and he and his wife stayed with her the rest of the afternoon. They elderly also. The preacher came to see her after the service and when she got home there was a big bouquet of flowers from the church. I called her this morning and she was fine.
Sometimes you can't be as close as you'd like to be to the people that you care about. I don't know if I put that the right way.
I have a good friend from Iran. One of my best friends ever. His parents sent him here to get an education. But then they wanted him to return. I met his parents when they came over here once. They were wonderful people. They had a beautiful loving family. So my friend eventually did return to Iran. I told him before he left that we would always be this close no matter how far apart, and I put my thumb and index finger together. I didn't know if I would ever see him again. He married a woman in Tehran. But they weren't happy in Iran as he got used to being free. But there is a lot more to the story than just that. To make the long story short, he and his wife returned to the states without even telling his parents and are both citizens now living in Seattle. I can't imagine how it must be for him to be that far away from his parents.
I promise that my next post will be more happy.
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7 comments:
Something similar to me happened last year. I'm still not sure exactly what happened, as both my parents and relatives who know something, all give me different stories. Basically, my mom collapsed and went unconscious at home, and spent a couple days in the hospital ER and IC recovering. She had an colonoscopy done.
Anyway, the point was that my dad never called to let me know what was going on. I didn't know what happened until a couple days after my mom was released from the hospital.
My dad told me that he didn't call me because he didn't want me to worry (it was my last semester of college), and that there "wasn't anything I could do anyway". Still, I felt excluded from them and it was hard for me to concentrate at school, even though I knew my mom was better.
My dad is really weird emotionally like that.
My parents wanted to visit me for my birthday next month, but my dad has a VA appointment that forces them to be in Idaho that week. They didn't even tell me they were planning to visit. While I'd like to see them, I never seem to know what to do when they're here. My mom always takes over my kitchen (and doesn't do anything to relax), and my dad never seems interested in doing anything. We're all out of touch with each other and no one is really paying attention to what the others are like anymore. I get extreme bouts of cabin fever and can't sleep at night. I also get moody and irritable.
I'm really glad they're not spending my birthday with me. I think I'm going to take the day off and spend it on the beach. I think there's something kind of sad and cold about that.
I know what you mean about having your parents come and visit. Sometimes when I have people in my house I have a hard time sleeping.
I think from the parent's point of view, giving birth to a child is such a huge deal in their lives that they want to be close to that when your birthday rolls around each year. Your birth is probably the most important event in their lives, especially your mom.
From your point of view it doesn't have bring the same emotions. I know that's the case with me.
My birthday is always during hunting season and going hunting is always more important to me than "celebrating" my birthday. But it's really important to my mom. Thankfully my mom understands this and we celebrate on a different weekend. I gave up on trying to get out of it. It's a compromise and works for both of us. Plus I usually get a nice present! I got a flashlight last year! :) a maglite.
Don't be discouraged. Know that this is the way our "elders" protect us from harm and/or prevent us from worrying about them. If they only knew how much more we worry after the fact...?!! (Especially when there are several miles between the two of you.)
I think every human being forgets - although not everyone loves you there are those that do.
It's hard to know what to say in a situation like what you described.
My guess is, no body knew to call you. Your mother probably didn't call because she couldn't until after the fact (and didn't want to worry you, unnecessarily). Your mothers friend, the doctor, probably didn't call you because he didn't know your number?
Maybe you should give a call to the doctor/friend, and give him your home phone number, and let him know you would appreciate being kept abreast of any developing problems concerning your mother.
Also, one thing to keep in mind; When medical emergencies arise, sometimes it might not be immediately apparent to the people involved to call and let other interested parties know what is going on, either because there is a stress/shock factor involved, or they simply don't think to call.
I really don't think anyone maliciously left you out of the loop. It sounds more to me like they just didn't know to call you. Again, I would call who ever you need to call and make sure they have the means to contact you.
Thank you anonymous.
And also than you, 2nd anonymous. I'm sure they didn't leave me out on purpose and the situation didn't get that serious.
The good news is that I just talked to my mom on the phone and she just got back from a doctor visit and she is fine. No problems.
She'll be singing in the choir on Sunday!
I'm glad to hear your mom is doing OK. If she's singing in the choir on Sunday she must feel right as rain!
Thanks Diane, I think her blood pressure meds caused her pressure to go too low.
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